today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
