this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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