I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
