Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
