Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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