my sisters under your porch take her home
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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