Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
