where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
