therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need to stop coming to work sober
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
