I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
