lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
