how can u be prego again
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
