she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
