Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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