We're facebook friends in real life
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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