Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
