Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
