It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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