the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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