Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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