Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
