bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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