I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
