so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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