Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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