Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
