i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
