Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
