Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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