I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
