I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Im part way to drunk.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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