Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
