I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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