did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
