Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
love makes seman taste better
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
