Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So vagazzling was a success
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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