Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
