Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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