Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
