U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
fuck your aforementioned shoe
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
