Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
