You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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