i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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