I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
