apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
