you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
