he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
