i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
