Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
