Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
