i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
