if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
