I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
