Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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