College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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