Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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